Better money conversations with your fiancé

Help with money stress for engaged couples

In addition to the fun (and stress) of wedding planning, engagement gives couples time to figure out what you want your life together to look like…and how to make that life happen. My goal is to help the couples I work with actually make a plan for how to achieve that beautiful life. Whether that means a house with a white picket fence or the freedom to travel whenever you want or fancy cars or the best board game collection you can dream of (that’s my husband’s goal!), let’s make a plan for how to get there.

70% of married or cohabitating Americans have disagreed with their partner about finances in the last year.

  • The most common causes of disagreements were needs vs. wants, spending priorities, and one person making purchases without telling the other.
  • Part of the point of our conversations will be to tackle some of those differences of opinion before they become an issue. 
  • We’ll focus on building combined goals and communication strategies around financial decisions.
  • It’s ok to disagree about how to manage your money, but finding common ground and discussing those difference will bring you closer together.

41% of people living with a partner would be at least somewhat likely to end the relationship if their partner was dishonest with them about finances.

Another part of what we’ll do together is sit down and put all the financial cards on the table: income, debt, spending habits, expectations, wants vs. needs (specifically, differences around what are needs and what are wants for each of you). How much are you comfortable with your fiancé/soon-to-be-spouse spending without checking in with you first? Putting it all out there lets you both enter the marriage confident that you can trust your partner.

Does that sound terrifying? You’re not alone. Almost everyone (including me and most of the other financial coaches I know) have a lot of negative stuff around money. Shame, guilt, fear…they’re all there for most of us. But the whole “honesty is the best policy” saying does exist for a reason. Better to see everything out in the open where you can plan together.